Are you pursuing or being pursued ?
On Relationships
Right now so many people are struggling finding the right partner, so many are having trouble with relationships and many are getting divorced more than ever.
The biggest mistake most people make with dating in today’s society is people are searching for a specific type or trying to locate a certain kind.
The bible talks about not being unequally yoked together; Verse 2 Corinthians 6:14 . Now that is not referring to looks, education or financial status .
Don’t get me wrong, looks are important of course, we need to be attracted to a person but looks are fleeting and seasonal .
When people are in pursuit of a type, it’s like being committed to a product based on the packaging without proving the content.
We are focused on things that are fleeting and trivial.
Another mistake in terms of relationships is to assume or subconsciously to believe that a relationship is going to give you identity, a sense of purpose or make you whole.
When in fact these are things that you must bring to a relationship rather than bringing your dysfunction or thinking that a relationship is going to fix us mentality.
The biggest mistake most people make is that we think or have a perspective of “What can we get from this person”.
That’s NOT how healthy relationships are formulated. Great relationships are not based on what can I get from the other person, rather it’s based on what deposit I can make on this person’s life. Otherwise if you come into it with a selfish mindset it’s going to fizzle out because it’s low level thinking.
One must enter any relationship with the idea of what can I deposit in this person’s life , you must enter with a mindset such as ‘how can I enrich or contribute to their life and success… You reap what You sow . You must serve one another .
The way you must approach relationships should’t be in a superficial way .
We tend to overlook that Men should look for a woman that is feminine and likewise a woman should look for a man that is masculine.
What that means is that there is a femininity that God has built into a well adjusted woman as well as a Masculinity to a well adjusted man.
That makes a feminine woman function at her highest level. When a masculine man meets such a feminine woman there’s a grace upon her life that empowers him to be his best version of himself .
Every man should pay attention to the woman that makes him feel like the best version of himself. And every woman should make herself feel like the best version of herself.
Unfortunately Popular trends tend to look at the external such as what does that person look like or possess etc.
Also pay attention to the people who want us: Most people run away from the people that want a relationship with us. Instead we are in pursuit and ultra attracted to people that dont want us. When in fact these people are amazing and have articulated interest in us, I think you should definitely at least consider these types of people.
Now this is of course assuming you had a type of dialog or questioning to make sure this person fits your future and that you are clear about what you want from the future and what it is.
With that in mind it is important to know who you are and where you are going and to insure that the person fits well into your future and values…
You must also have to have a certain physical appeal , now that dont mean they have to be a 10 but rather someone that gives you that emotional comfort. You aren’t looking for that person that looks good externally and you are trying to use it as a type of instagram post rather than someone that can fulfill you intellectually and is compatible.
That doesn’t mean that the person necessarily shares the same social habits that you do such as going to the same church or have the same political views rather than someone that makes you feel whole and respect your values.
What’s your opinion on women having masculine traits and men having feminine characteristics in order to blend in to today’s relationship society?
Masculine energy is the energy of leading, guarding and protecting.
Female energy is the nurturing, helping energy who can take a house and turn it into a home.
However in today’s society these roles have shifted when the female has become more astute generally and takes the rains and she the leader and the man has become more of the co captain of the plane.
Man should have the initiative so he can operate in his masculine , main vision and clarity.
A woman should be the fertilizer and nurture everything that God put in the man.
One must be able to embrace both roles today and compromise.
You can’t paint the whole world with one stroke or one brush.
Men love and are used to being the main earners, but today things have changed and one must recognize that.
All of us have to be conscious of the fact that our spouses need certain things from us.
Women and men both need to recognize that we each need the manifestation the man and female in certain ways , we are accustomed to it in no specific context .
Every woman needs a man that can articulate a vision and feel safe emotionally, physically etc.
Every man needs a woman that is his main supporter , is his greatest cheerleader , and creates a climate of peace in his world.
Those are essential in every relationship.
As far as who makes the most money or who stays at home in today’s world varies greatly in today’s society has become irrelevant
Women should still focus on becoming the best versions of themselves and not pursue men .
Women are ideally better served by actualizing and manifesting their greatest potential and becoming the equivalent to the man you desire to attract rather than misrepresenting her virtues.
Because otherwise we attract a man that thinks on a lower level such as a “hookup culture “ or a sexual conquest he may buy into those pursuits but won’t be the outcome of the long term ideals that most women desire such as the ideal outcome of long term relationships leading to marriage.
When a woman pursuits a man it’s like the rabbit chasing the hunter
Likewise man should not necessarily have to pursue a woman , there’s a difference between chasing and pursuing.
Anything you have to chase is running away from you .
Woman should in a subtle way signal that she is interested in him, without crossing the line and dipping into his masculine energy and responsibilities.
Now if the man can’t take the leadership in terms of the initial connection to pursue you, how is he going to lead you 5-10 years down the road when you have major decisions to make.
That is the main indication of the man having the courage to lead and how real relationships should happen .
Women should always be viewed as the prize.
When the man finds the right woman he is going to try to make her life easier and honor her.
When a woman finds the right man she is going to naturally be submissive and honor him.
At the end of the day just remember a relationship has to flow and be harmonious .
It has to synchronize
